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How to Master the Power of Self-Discipline

Here's Why Self-Discipline Should Become Your New Best Friend — And How It Can Be

August 23, 2024

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To accomplish anything in life requires discipline. Michelangelo’s crafting of David, Noah Lyles winning an Olympic gold medal, Gordon Ramsay cooking a Michelin-star meal. Each of these endeavors involves skill, focus, and most of all, discipline.

Discipline is the strength required to do what you need to do in order to achieve the results you want to achieve. It’s the single most important quality to transform your life and to live it on your own terms.

Whether it's getting in shape, increasing finances or learning to become more emotionally mature, any life change requires a change in habits, and the main ingredient for changing habits is self-discipline.

“Without discipline there is no freedom,” said Lorin Krenn, author and men’s coach. “Many men have been conditioned to believe that having freedom means no commitments, no responsibilities — yet this actually causes men to be unfocused and walk through life without a clear direction or vision.”

On the flip side, Krenn says, “self-discipline allows us to stay true to what we want to create and the legacy we want to leave. We all have a gift to share and we owe it to ourselves to bring this gift into the world. Discipline is the vehicle that allows us to do so.”

Here we’ll explore how activating your self-discipline can have huge ramifications on becoming the man you want to be for yourself, for others, and for achieving the life you want to live.

Discipline as a Healthy Habit

Like any other habit, the habit of self-discipline is one you can cultivate over time. The more you practice it, the easier it becomes.

But what does practicing it actually entail?

Quite simply, it’s saying “yes” to yourself and the things you believe in. It’s deciding what you want out of life and abiding by the thoughts and actions that will get you there while saying “no” to what does not. It’s about setting goals aligned with what you want — whatever that may be — and having the willpower to achieve them.

“Self-discipline is important because it fosters a sense of self-belief,” says author Cory Allen, author and host of the And Then It Hit Me podcast. “One of the most valuable things is proving to yourself you can accomplish something. It’s why in my book Brave New You I focus on setting attainable goals.”

That focus, Allen says, is because “it’s not about how big the win is per se, it’s about making the achievement.”

“When you make that achievement, you start fostering a sense of self-trust and self-belief and whenever you look back at it, you can see how there was something you wanted to change in your life that you worked towards, made happen, and can now see the results,” he explains. “That gives you a tangible sense of value and an ability to change things in your life.”

Allen believes that once you start achieving little things and proving to yourself you’re capable, your sense of what’s possible continues to expand over time until what once seemed out of your realm of possibility is actually a possibility based on your achievements.

But there’s a difference between consciously creating the life you want and avoiding the life you actually desire by distracting yourself with “being productive.”

“Too much discipline can have the opposite effect,” Krenn said. “When we become mere machines of productivity, we lose touch with our heart and it can make us feel rigid and disconnected from ourselves. While it’s important to be disciplined, it’s equally important to receive the beauty and depth of life.”

Krenn suggests following the mantra “'discipline with heart,” as a reminder to focus on discipline in the name of service and love.

“Self-discipline is the act of not allowing ourselves to be led astray from what matters most to us,” he said. “It is the act of fully committing to our truth, to our vision, to embodying our highest power. It is a form of sacrifice, thinking about the bigger picture, what really matters in the end.”

How to Cultivate Self-Discipline in Your Life

At the end of the day, mastering self-discipline comes down to mind over matter. You may not want to eat healthy and go to the gym, but if your goal is to lose weight, regularly pounding burgers and fries isn’t going to get you there.

It’s why keeping your end goal in mind is key — a regular reminder of why you’re embarking on the path you’re forging and why you’re opting for the choices you’re making.

“Recognize small things you want to achieve, set attainable goals, and continue applying those things over time,” Allen said. “Whenever we set too big of a goal and we don’t achieve it, it makes us feel incapable. But if we set small goals and we achieve them, we feel good, and that encourages us to keep doing it. So to help sustain self-discipline, make things easy.”

Citing the weight-loss example, Allen suggests just showing up to the gym five days a week, not even thinking about what you’ll do when you get there. Just get in the door.

“If you can do just that, you’re going to feel great because you’ve got momentum building,” Allen said. “In time, that will become boring, so you’ll start setting other goals at the gym, where you’ll be able to keep growing and growing from there.”

Allen suggests following a formula for change from his first book — Now Is the Way — which is “effort plus time equals lasting change.” The idea being, even if the effort isn’t gigantic, doing something consistently over time will build up to pretty powerful results.

For mindfulness and mindset coach Craig French, another way to increase self-discipline is to first determine your “why,” or first understand your reasons for wanting to increase your self-discipline and what you’re hoping to achieve from it.

“Once you have your “why,” it’s extremely important to have patience and compassion for yourself because discipline isn’t formed overnight,” French said. “It’s achieved over years through small, incremental steps, to the point it becomes ingrained into your way of being.”

For those unsure or intimidated about cultivating self-discipline, French encourages them to explore a morning and evening meditation practice as a starting point.

“Start and end your day with contemplation but without reaction, letting go of unnecessary baggage that will only weigh you down,” French said. “For me, this is the foundational practice of self-discipline because for many humans, sitting still and silent with their own thoughts is the hardest thing in the world.”

And that’s what self-discipline is all about: Looking internally and finding the strength within to push yourself through life’s challenges and uncomfortable moments that will inevitably appear along the path of what you’re setting out to achieve.

For Krenn, the most powerful technique for increasing self-discipline is to acknowledge discomfort and become friends with it.

“Whether it’s the discomfort of a challenging conversation in a relationship, the discomfort of learning to focus our mind in meditation, or the discomfort of grounding ourselves in challenging moments, once we face it, we step into our highest power,” Krenn says. “The best way to become friends with discomfort is to practice holding space for it.”

What does that look like in practice?

“The next time you notice the desire to avoid, run, escape, or distract yourself, allow yourself to fully feel the emotion and become curious,” Krenn suggests. “Ask yourself: ‘What am I trying to avoid? Is this really as painful as I think it is?’ As a spiritual practice, this is a spiritual muscle that needs to be trained. Become friends with discomfort and discipline will find you.”

Why Generating Self-Discipline Is an Act of Self Love

As the saying goes, “to know thyself is to love thyself.” To know and step into your life’s purpose is thus an act of self-love, and the more disciplined you are at leaning into your life’s path, the more you’re loving yourself.

“We naturally become disciplined when we fully commit and devote ourselves to our higher purpose,” Krenn said. “It doesn't matter what it is, the importance is that it’s in service to something greater than ourselves. When we truly step into full service, being disciplined is a natural byproduct.”

If taking care of ourselves is cultivating the self-discipline to pursue our higher purpose, then our higher purpose must be intrinsically tied to self-love. Without self-love we lack self-discipline, and without self-discipline we lack the ability to follow-through on fulfilling our life’s purpose.

“We all have a unique gift to share with the world and we owe it ourselves to fulfill this gift and to serve those around us,” Krenn said. “Whether it’s serving our beloved or the customers in our business, serving others is the only way to truly experience inner freedom. Otherwise, the overwhelming distractions around us will lead us away from our truth, from what we are meant to do in this world.”

In this way, choosing to cultivate self-discipline is not selfish — it’s quite the opposite. By focusing on showing up as the best version of yourself, you’re better able to show up as the best version of yourself for others.

“There is no greater expression of self-care than self-discipline because if you choose to prioritize your health and well-being above all other distractions, you know you’re locked in and have a clear direction on where you’re heading,” French said. “It takes a certain level of maturity to let go of old habits, routines and relationships that are no longer serving you, but it’s necessary to help you evolve and grow.”

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