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Bryan Johnson Erection Tracking Tweet

A Tech Millionaire Just Posted the Most Cringe & Wild Thing of 2025 Already

The Story

There’s been a lot of hubbub about the ultra-wealthy in the news recently, but one of them just did something truly wild.

Bryan Johnson, a tech millionaire who has made headlines in recent years for his extreme attempts to stop or reverse the aging process, posted his teenage son’s erection tracking data online — intentionally.

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The Snapshot

You read that correctly — this man posted about his son’s erect penis on social media. In a post on X (formerly known as Twitter), Johnson shared screenshots of the data he and his 19-year-old son received from their erection-tracking apps.

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There’s more to this than pure creepiness — apps like this exist to help men gauge their erectile function (EF), and doctors have long suggested that EF is a strong marker for overall male physical health. So if you’re as obsessed with your bodily function as Johnson is, using tech to track your erections while you sleep (aka nocturnal tumescence) is a smart approach.

But no one held a gun to his head to make his son get involved in this — or to involve the rest of the world by posting about it. Unsurprisingly, the comments were fairly surprised at this level of frankly inappropriate sharing on Johnson’s part — and what it might imply about his understandings of sexual consent. 

The Lesson

There are lots of ways to be a good dad, and connecting with your teenage son might never feel 100% straightforward — but publicly talking about his genitalia is a bad move pretty much regardless of the circumstances.

Johnson’s obsession with staying young doesn’t mean he gets a pass for acting immaturely. Pretty much no one on Earth would want their parents talking publicly about their private parts, let alone while they’re still teenagers.

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Who knows how his son will look back on this in 10 or 20 years, but there’s a high chance that his father’s over-interested involvement in his penis may not sit well with him as an adult.

Meanwhile, it’s early days yet, but this has to be one of the worst Dad Moves of 2025 already.

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