Sign up
Log In
Log Out
Preferences
Why It's Important to Tell the People in Your Life That You're Proud of Them
Terms of Use Privacy Policy Hide
Why It\'s Important to Tell the People in Your Life That You\'re Proud of Them
Getty Images

Why It's Important to Tell the People in Your Life That You're Proud of Them

Why Telling Loved Ones You’re Proud of Them Can Mean More Than You Know

You’ve likely come across the phrase “Actions speak louder than words” at some point in your life, and it’s a hard one to argue with.

After all, you can’t repeatedly promise someone you’ll do something, only to physically do the exact opposite of whatever you pledged, and then expect the person whose trust you’ve repeatedly broken to take your word.

Sometimes, however, it’s not so straightforward; sometimes the “action” you need to take involves nothing but using your words — and meaning them.

RELATED: Why Is It So Hard for Straight Males to Show Affection Towards Each Other?

Sometimes sincere acknowledgment of a difficult accomplishment — the realization of a goal after a substantial amount of time and effort, say — is the action you can take that goes much, much further than you realize.

The question, then, becomes: Why aren’t we out here giving voice to positive emotions more often? And, more to the point, why do some men still feel uncomfortable telling their good friends how much they love them, or how happy they are to see those friends excelling at life?

“A major reason why men struggle with expressing their emotions relates to our bro culture,” says Dr. John Moore, with guycounseling.com. “While things have certainly improved with younger generations — Gen Z, for example — talking about real things like emotions remains taboo for many. There are still too many unhealthy stereotypes about masculinity that suggest real men don’t talk about their feelings.”

“In truth,” Moore says, “the most masculine thing a guy can do is show emotional vulnerability.”


The Power of Telling Someone You’re Proud of Them


A fatal flaw for some of us is that, in some cases, we take for granted the significance of putting our thoughts into words. You may think that the important people in your life know how you feel about them — and your actions and attitude toward them certainly provide hints — but the only way for them to truly know is for you to tell them.

“When a man tells a friend or significant other they are proud or grateful about an accomplishment, they are really showing support for this person,” says Moore. “Giving genuine praise and compliments helps to strengthen the friendship, or relationship, and lets the other person know they matter.”

In addition to the relationship-strength building this accomplishes, the individual expressing these feelings can also reap positive rewards in a different way, says life coach, speaker, and author Wayne Levine of BetterMen Coaching.

“When we’re in gratitude, we can’t be in anger or jealousy, or overcome with anxiety,” Levine explains. “When we’re in gratitude, our hearts are open, our energy is positive, and we are grounded.”

“Spiritually speaking,” he adds, “gratitude helps us to connect with our higher power, with the collective — and when we share that gratitude with our loved ones, our colleagues, and with people we meet throughout the day, we are sharing that energy and lifting up everyone around us.”

RELATED: What Healthy Masculinity in Pop Culture Looks Like

Expressing gratitude within our most intimate relationships, Levine goes on to explain, allows us to create “a safe, loving environment in which all things wonderful are possible.”

At the heart of it, sharing gratitude, pride, excitement, and the like with the people we love and care about is an act of giving of ourselves that comes with baked-in personal benefits just waiting to be unlocked.


Why Are Guys Hesitant to Express Themselves Emotionally?


While it is no longer as ubiquitous an issue as it once was, there are still men out there who have a hard time wearing their hearts on their sleeves.

There are a multitude of reasons for this, but two of the big ones include what society has traditionally expected from men, and the model of emotional expressiveness, or lack thereof, provided by our parents.

The traditional role society once expected men to play — that of the cool, calm and collected, forever-ready-for-a-challenge hero, boss, and father — is well documented, as is the emotional stuntedness such expectations can produce. But some of the issue can also be traced to the examples set by our families.

RELATED: Toxic Things That Many People Tend to Encourage in Men

“Parents often provide the blueprint for emotional development and expression,” says Moore. “In homes where parents overly regulate emotions or suppress feelings, there’s a good chance the child is going to mirror what they see. On the flipside, in homes where healthy emotional exchanges are encouraged, that same approach is replicated by the child.”

The models of relating to one another that we see at home as kids go further still.

“Most of our therapy bills are related to undoing much of what we’ve learned as children,” says Levine. “These lessons affect every aspect of our lives, including our relationship with our own emotions and how we share those feelings with others.

That’s why, he adds, the best thing young parents can do for their kids is “take a personal inventory and see what they’d like to improve before their unattractive behaviors start showing up in their offspring.”

RELATED: How to Be a Better Father


Are We Moving Towards a “New Masculinity”?


As the younger generations continue to show the rest of us, the definitions of masculinity and manhood are evolving — perhaps at the most rapid pace we’ve ever seen.

Men who have embraced this “new masculinity” will sometimes get grief from those who still adhere to the more traditional definitions, but this is to be expected. Embracing a new mindset, especially when another has been so central to an identity for so long, is no easy task.

Leaning into your feelings and sharing them with the people you love is not always easy, especially if your upbringing didn’t provide much of a blueprint for doing so. But when you take that leap and put yourself out there emotionally, the dividends tend to come back tenfold. Conversely, bottling up your emotions comes with plenty of downsides.

RELATED: What Guys Misunderstand About Communicating

“If men don’t express their feelings, they won’t be truly seen, they won’t get what they need, and they’ll probably grow resentful and act out in all sorts of unhealthy ways,” says Levine.

So, instead of the guy whose eyes drift to the floor when the conversation turns emotional, be the man who says what’s on his mind and in his heart; instead of the guy who shies away from returning the sentiment when a friend expresses love or admiration, be the man unafraid to show a little mutual affection.

Tell your friends, your family, your significant other what they mean to you, why they’re important, why you’re proud of them. You don’t know the power your words can have — until you speak them into existence.

You Might Also Dig:

xxfseo.com